For You, just starting your healing path, as an adult survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse and/or Incest Abuse…
This is an arduous journey you’ve begun, to be sure. Be brave.
Also, be certain: you are undertaking it now, because you are ready to.
Some days you won’t feel ready. Some days you will feel like a helpless child, trying to run the life of an adult. On those days, go towards your little self with gentleness, like you would approach a rescued, scared animal. As much as you can, make your day, those days, about them. What does s/he need? How can you comfort them? S/he went through so much pain, and s/he’s ready to unburden your child self of that anguish by sharing it with you. You can handle it now. You can hold it for them, and assure them: you were right to feel all that. It makes sense you felt all that. I’m here with you now.
The gifts of joy, perception and love that s/he will share with you in exchange will amaze you. S/he gives you back your ability to love like a child. With their whole heart, and to receive love like a child too, with their whole heart and body. And as the adult, you use your discernment to help them know where it is safe to let that love shine out, who s/he can trust all the way, and who s/he can care about but maybe keep at a distance.
This is the beginning of coming home to yourself in a way that is going to make your life seem like the color has come back into it. You lost a lot of the brilliance of the world, in order to survive it. You had to dull the level of saturation you experienced, so you weren’t broken open all day, every day. Now, you can handle both the brutality, and the beauty.
So, welcome to the world. Again.
This time, you get to live your life the way you want to.
In safety and love,
Deb
